The anti-hunger strike

I'm hitting it hard today... I just want to warn you up front.

It started with some SPAM slices this morning. I thought I'd find out if I could cook SPAM like it was bacon. It's a laughable thought now. It was like panning for gold in a river of freaking gold - I'll leave it at that.

Regular bacon is dead to me.

For lunch I made some homemade pizza. I say "I" like I did more than add SPAM before it went in the oven... it was really all Ashley. But who needs details.

This was a top fiver:



And just when I started thinking life couldn't get much better, my good pal Sam invites me over for to grill out tonight. That means it's SPAMBURGER HAMBURGER time!

I don't remember the life I was living before, but I'm not looking back.

Side note

Over the past few days, I've started receiving meal suggestions via email. Some of these are realistic recommendations from fellow SPAMFANS, others are just blatant challenges from instigators.

Seeing as I have 24 days left to fill here, I'm open to both. Cottage cheese and mayonnaise excluded, I say let's do this.

The joy of sharing

Hey, Friday is picking up! I took a tupperware full of SPAM cubes to Fazolis for lunch today. Now that I'm receiving a little less guff from my coworkers, I thought I'd get back out in the world.

I ordered Fettuccine Alfredo and turned down the chicken add-on, noting to the woman at the counter, "it's okay, I brought something better." She was unamused to say the least.

Back at the table, I yan-can-cooked it up by adding my SPAM cubes to the pasta, and- boom!- SPAMuccine Alfredo was born:


But that wasn't the real miracle of the day...

As I was enjoying my SPAMucine, I noticed my friend Craiggers watching me eat. A moment went by before I paused and turned to him. The entire table quieted. His eyes were aflicker.

My mind immediately went to flashbacks - cafeterias, bullies, mashed potato all over my face... and for a moment I considered bolting for the door. But it was too late.

Craiggers leaned over, stuck his fork into my pasta and took a bite.

Alright... really it was more like, "Hey, can I try that?" And, "Heck yes, I'll even feed it to you." It just seemed like so much more.


Either way, someone in the background was certainly jealous.

Just another manic Friday

I burnt my SPAM McMuffin this morning... every part of it. Now the kitchen smells like smoke and my portfolio of SPAM photography is taking a dive.

What a morning.

Hardcore lunching

I don't know what you all eat for lunch while you're working, but I eat Beanie SPAMsies:


And I eat it with fury:


That's truly the only way to handle that much protein. You have to be aggressive. If I was having something like a SPAM caesar salad, things would be completely different. I'd put on a tie, comb my hair... try to be a little more appropriate.

But with Beanie SPAMsies, all formalities are out the window. Toward the end I wasn't evening using that spoon... I was just shoveling it into my mouth by hand.

Things got a little messy, but it was worth it.

Just dreams...

I had a SPAM-related dream last night. No joke. And I dream a lot, so it's probably no big deal, but it is funny. From what I recall, SPAM was an actual person and we were traveling in space together.

This drawing is the exact image that I remember:

Quespamdilla

Tonight's dinner:


And I can thank Ashley for that, because before she walked into the room I was looking at SPAM & Jelly or SPAM Cereal. Desperate times...

It just takes more coordination than I thought. Not the planning of the meals, but the stopping at the store. Anyone can draw a snowman, but building one is another story... you catch my drift?

The point is, I'm not perfect.

But I'm no quitter either. I will preach SPAM variety! I will show you the limitlessness of meat that comes in a can! This journey hath just begun!!