The SPAM Pasta hail mary

I had high hopes for dinner tonight. A fellow SPAMFAN sent me a recipe for a SPAM pasta with spicy peanut butter sauce, and I was pumped.

So pumped apparently, that I threw out my cooking instructions after purchasing the ingredients yesterday. Go figure.

Of course, I didn't realize this until dinner was underway.

It wouldn't have been a big deal if I wasn't mixing vinegar, peanut butter and hot sauce... but I'd say in this situation, measurements were pretty freaking critical.

Anyway, it was too late and I was left to winging it.

I can't tell you what happened - the whole memory is a blur. I was adding liquids to thin out the sauce, and then again to fix the taste, and then I was adding more peanut butter to thicken it back up. It was too spicy, then too sour... you get the idea.

And right as I was about to give up and eat my SPAM Pasta sans the sauce, everything clicked.

Suddenly I had this:


And I... cannot even tell you... how unbelievably good it was.

Or ever try to remake it for that matter.

The best I can probably do is give you the list of ingredients and let you play the part of the blind sow.

And then say good luck, little warrior... good luck.

Ingredients:
Fettucini noodles, SPAM Classic, red and yellow peppers, cilantro, peanut butter, seasoned vinegar, hot sauce, water

It's all gone a little too far

I used the leftovers from my SPAM Breakfast Bagel this morning to make this:


Which is a pretty awesome SPAM Robot.

Or was awesome... until this happened:

Kentucky Fried SPAM

I have this friend of a friend, whose uncle knows this guy whose brother used to date this girl whose cousin worked at Kentucky Friend Chicken - and she gave me this recipe:


It could've only been better in a 10-piece bucket.

Big bites

I had SPAM Stroganoff for lunch today - a real man's meal. Which meant loud noises and bigger bites.

As seen here:


And now my stomach is at what must be maximum capacity. Because even though this bowl doesn't look large:


It's at least a gallon of noodles. I'm guesstimating on my measurements, but trust me - it's a lot.

Sidenote: The daily SPAM aroma is going over really well here at the office.

The gift horse

I can't take any credit for the following SPAM Calzone. And I'm not even gonna try. I have a feeling someone would call me on it and be like, "that's not even your style!" - (like I've been doing this long enough that you all recognize the way I my mark leavened bread).

Anyway, Ashley made the calzone... the truth is out.

Which I found suspicious. Vegetarian wife who is sick of husband eating SPAM offers to cook it for him? I had to do the trick where I pretend to take a bite and watch her reaction when I "swallow" to find out if she had poisoned me.

Which- looking back- was probably wrong... but only because I didn't collapse while eating.

Anyway, the SPAM Calzone was delicious. And I think it's safe to say that this:


Turned out much better than whatever I would've made.

Nothing but hallelujahs

You guys may or may not share my enthusiasm for the miracle that is canned meat - and that's alright - but I think we should all be celebrating this:


Because SPAMFAN or not, this book has the answers to your questions.

I, for one, will savoring it anyway - for my final six and a half days. So I'll let you know how it goes.

Based on a first glance, I think it may hit pretty close to home:

Reluctantly, "SPAM in a Blanket"

I'm calling this SPAM in a Blanket despite the fact that I don't agree with the name. Personally, when I'm in a blanket, I don't like to be swaddled like a baby. I don't think I should have to worry about waking up as a moth... that's just how I feel.

SPAM in a Cocoon... SPAM in a Body Cast... these are names I could get behind. But SPAM in a Blanket - I'm not buying it.

I will only call it that for the sake of the readers - who may be extremely confused by a title like SPAM in Dough Spandex.

The point is that I made 6 of these:


By entombing SPAM spears inside some easy-bake croissants.
And all naming issues aside, they were quite tasty.