The SPAM Pasta hail mary

I had high hopes for dinner tonight. A fellow SPAMFAN sent me a recipe for a SPAM pasta with spicy peanut butter sauce, and I was pumped.

So pumped apparently, that I threw out my cooking instructions after purchasing the ingredients yesterday. Go figure.

Of course, I didn't realize this until dinner was underway.

It wouldn't have been a big deal if I wasn't mixing vinegar, peanut butter and hot sauce... but I'd say in this situation, measurements were pretty freaking critical.

Anyway, it was too late and I was left to winging it.

I can't tell you what happened - the whole memory is a blur. I was adding liquids to thin out the sauce, and then again to fix the taste, and then I was adding more peanut butter to thicken it back up. It was too spicy, then too sour... you get the idea.

And right as I was about to give up and eat my SPAM Pasta sans the sauce, everything clicked.

Suddenly I had this:


And I... cannot even tell you... how unbelievably good it was.

Or ever try to remake it for that matter.

The best I can probably do is give you the list of ingredients and let you play the part of the blind sow.

And then say good luck, little warrior... good luck.

Ingredients:
Fettucini noodles, SPAM Classic, red and yellow peppers, cilantro, peanut butter, seasoned vinegar, hot sauce, water

It's all gone a little too far

I used the leftovers from my SPAM Breakfast Bagel this morning to make this:


Which is a pretty awesome SPAM Robot.

Or was awesome... until this happened:

Kentucky Fried SPAM

I have this friend of a friend, whose uncle knows this guy whose brother used to date this girl whose cousin worked at Kentucky Friend Chicken - and she gave me this recipe:


It could've only been better in a 10-piece bucket.

Big bites

I had SPAM Stroganoff for lunch today - a real man's meal. Which meant loud noises and bigger bites.

As seen here:


And now my stomach is at what must be maximum capacity. Because even though this bowl doesn't look large:


It's at least a gallon of noodles. I'm guesstimating on my measurements, but trust me - it's a lot.

Sidenote: The daily SPAM aroma is going over really well here at the office.

The gift horse

I can't take any credit for the following SPAM Calzone. And I'm not even gonna try. I have a feeling someone would call me on it and be like, "that's not even your style!" - (like I've been doing this long enough that you all recognize the way I my mark leavened bread).

Anyway, Ashley made the calzone... the truth is out.

Which I found suspicious. Vegetarian wife who is sick of husband eating SPAM offers to cook it for him? I had to do the trick where I pretend to take a bite and watch her reaction when I "swallow" to find out if she had poisoned me.

Which- looking back- was probably wrong... but only because I didn't collapse while eating.

Anyway, the SPAM Calzone was delicious. And I think it's safe to say that this:


Turned out much better than whatever I would've made.

Nothing but hallelujahs

You guys may or may not share my enthusiasm for the miracle that is canned meat - and that's alright - but I think we should all be celebrating this:


Because SPAMFAN or not, this book has the answers to your questions.

I, for one, will savoring it anyway - for my final six and a half days. So I'll let you know how it goes.

Based on a first glance, I think it may hit pretty close to home:

Reluctantly, "SPAM in a Blanket"

I'm calling this SPAM in a Blanket despite the fact that I don't agree with the name. Personally, when I'm in a blanket, I don't like to be swaddled like a baby. I don't think I should have to worry about waking up as a moth... that's just how I feel.

SPAM in a Cocoon... SPAM in a Body Cast... these are names I could get behind. But SPAM in a Blanket - I'm not buying it.

I will only call it that for the sake of the readers - who may be extremely confused by a title like SPAM in Dough Spandex.

The point is that I made 6 of these:


By entombing SPAM spears inside some easy-bake croissants.
And all naming issues aside, they were quite tasty.

Leftovers

I'll confess that I had meatloaf again today, but I only did it because I was having company for lunch. And it was the kind of company that brings television cameras, so I thought SPAM should look its best.

Anyway, I don't think I have to tell you how well that went. But look for the video sometime next week.

And did you know it's day 23 now? That thought keeps haunting me. I feel like I'm already saying goodbyes. It's like the end of summer camp.

The summer camp where none of your friends went and you were nervous and maybe cried when mom and dad dropped you off, but then you met some new kids and learned how to weave baskets and make flotation devices using your jeans and you had a crush on that little red-head and it ended up being the greatest summer in the world and when you got back all your old friends just weren't the same...

You know how summer camps go.

Anyway, that's how I'm feeling.

Chili con SPAM said the funniest thing at lunch today

Weddings are easy

It's nice because I'm getting really good at sneaking SPAM into weddings... but if I never have to do it again, I'll be okay with that.

It's just too much of a crapshoot on what you'll be eating it with.

I'll say this... chicken gravy was a blessing: